Throwback Thursday is the perfect day to write about my first sexual experience with a man.
When I came out in my 20s, it took me over a year to actually have sex. I was so innocent, I didn't know that, for the most part, gay men don't necessarily date - they have sex first, and ask questions later. That really surprised me.
Then there's Douglas. We met for dinner and conversation and not sex with no talk. We had a great rapport over dinner so I agreed to go back to his house for coffee. I said that so many other guys offered me coffee but instead it meant sex. He said it was really just coffee.
When we got to his house, he put me in a nice chair in the living room and he went and made coffee. I got nervous because I saw all of these chains and leather goods hanging on the wall. Oh great, I thought, after coffee he’s going to tie me up and make me his sex slave. Does anyone know I am here? Can the police find his personal ad at my home if I never return> Then after he gave me the coffee (which I don’t normally drink by the way), Douglas grabbed one of the biggest chain items on the wall and said, “Kevin, do you mind..."Oh my god, do I mind what?!"... “Do you mind if I take my dog for a quick walk while you drink your coffee?” Oh I see, that was a leash. I kid you not, my mind had come up with some really wacky scenarios. The good thing about this is I never went on a date again with a stranger without someone know where I was.
When Douglas came back, he sat down next to me and held my hand. That was very sweet. Then he started to kiss my hand and started to move his way up. I liked the way this felt. We then moved down to the floor and Douglas began to touch me and slipped his hand up my shirt and sweater. The moment I started to pull my shirt over my head while Douglas unbuckled my pants, someone started coming down the stairs. SOMEONE STARTED COMING DOWN THE STAIRS???? I am laying there with my sweater over my head, I can’t see and my pants are undone and at this very moment, someone is coming down the stairs!???!! I jumped up with my face still covered in my sweater, and I grab my loose pants with the other hand and ran while adjusting my sweater.
In the bathroom, I put myself back together but I heard Douglas talk to some other man about thinking he was going away but the weather was bad. I couldn’t hear it all as it was muffled but I knew one thing - I was embarrassed and trapped in a bathroom. I waited what he seemed like forever for that other voice to leave the room but he just wasn’t going. So I had to come out and exit fast. So when I left the bathroom, I went to Douglas who introduced me to his roommate and I said simply, “Oh it’s 9:35pm ... kind of late...I need to go.”
The roommate didn’t seem to care about what he interrupted. Douglas asked me to stay and I sent him a look that said “Are you kidding?” He walked me to my car and apologized. I don’t recall all of what he said as I was still mortified. But I did feel it was sincere.
Douglas called the next day with more apologies and offered to take me out on a second date. Wow, my first second date! The first might have ended in sex if the roommate had not been home, but Douglas was sweet to follow-up and seemed genuinely interested in me. So I said yes to the second date. And decided that he was going to be my first time.
The details for that will have to wait until the next Throwback Thursday.
#ABearsTale #GayBearLove #GayBearSex #TheFirstTime #TBT