Straight people are doing it wrong.
There are exceptions to every scenario, but men - gay or straight - know on the first meeting if they want to have sex with their date.
So when it's two men (instead of a man and a woman) there's often sex on the first date. In fact, most often, sex IS the first date.
When you throw a straight woman in the mix, there's likely a few dates before they do it. The man is ready from the first moment they meet, but the woman controls when she gives it up.
So while gay man say hello and go to bed. A straight couple may have a coffee or cocktail date. Then a dinner date. Then a sex date which usually is followed by a date on the town which might involve a concert or a show.
I have seen plenty of straight men at a musical counting how many songs are left in the program until the show is over - this is when they finally can have sex.
It seems that straight men go to musicals as an aphrodisiac for sex. When you see a straight man at "Hamilton" or "Book of Mormon," they don't seem out of place and likely wanted to see the show.
But when you see a straight man at "A Little Night Music" or "Pride and Prejudice," it's likely this is the date that they think they are finally going to have sex.
I've actually seen men counting down the songs and a couple of times I've asked them at intermission if this was the third date. They were surprised I knew. But they've done the wining and dining and now expect a payout. This may sound crude, but are more stimulated by appearances so they can meet someone and know if they'd like to have sex. Women, for the most part, get a strong attraction to a partner after they've gotten to know their date through wine, coffee, dinner and/or a show.
Sure sex and love are two different things and I do say I'm looking for love. But in the gay world, sex is an important part of any relationship.
In fact, I've developed my own dating style that mixes the best of both worlds - sex and dating. It's a way that I think straight people should try: The inverted date.
Instead of going out for a big heavy meal that might involve a steak, pasta and dessert, start with sex! If you think about it, who wants to toss around in bed on a full stomach. I'm a bear, after we eat, we hibernate. So to find me at my best sexually, let's do it while I'm hungry. It was also help me build up an appetite for dinner.
Further, if you have sex first with someone you're attracted to, you can find out immediately if you're compatible in bed.
Also, I love the pillow talk after sex. It's nice to lay there naked - literally and emotionally - and learn and explore the person you're with.
If it's still going great, then you can continue by taking a shower together and then get ready to go out.
Then, you go to dinner in which you end up too full to do it again - but leaves you in a perfect place to cuddle.
A female friend of mine says one reason she would eat a salad at dinner is in case it leads to sex, she's not overly full.
That idea makes total sense! I wonder if when Scarlett O'Hara had to eat like a bird in "Gone with the Wind" if she had sex off-camera!
Another good reason to have sex first is if it's unfulfilling (performance or emotional), you got the deed done and you can go about your day without having to wine and dine someone you are incompatible with.
There are guys who want say they like this idea but are really in it for the sex, you can't follow the clues that they're not into it by noticing their date times are late at night (booty calls) or the pre-date banter is all about sex.
Whether you want to go out on my inverted date, a traditional date or just have sex, life is exciting and no matter what happens, there's always a story to be told.
#ABearsTale #GayDating #SexOnTheFirstDate #BreakfastInBed #GayBears