#TBT A Bear's Tale: When It Comes To Sex and Dating, Young Kevin Had a Lot to Learn
Young Kevin could learn a lot from me. Don't we wish that we provide to the younger versions of ourselves the wisdom and intelligence that we now have, which comes from life experiences.
I do feel blessed that I think I look younger than my real age. Even if it isn't true, at least I think and feel like someone under 50. Oftentimes, I think I feel under 40. But then I wake up in the morning with stiff bones, instead of the morning wood I had when I was young adult Kevin.
After coming out to my friend Jeffrey, I needed to find a way to meet men. Sure I thought of bars - but isn't there any easier way. I was even too timid at the beginning to answer an ad. So I did the absolute worse thing: called some of the people who answered Jeffrey's ad.
What was I thinking? Sure we're close in age but I was a chubby white bearded college student who loved show tunes and Jeffrey was Filipino who liked country line dancing - which obviously isn't me. Sure there is someone who would like both, but these men answered an ad for the more svelte Filipino Jeffrey.
I remember the first guy I called - and this was the very first call to a man for a date EVER made - my heart was in my throat. And he answered. His name was Ken.
We had a pleasant enough conversation and I agreed to have a date with Ken. Here's the first naïve thing I did: I offered to make dinner at my house. I remember my mom was out of town and I had the place to myself. But NEVER make a first date in your home - or even agree to make a meal.
First meetings - or pre-dates - should be something quick and clean and not last long. A coffee or a cocktail is a great first meeting. You can say hi, feel chemistry (or not) and then you can be on your way.
I've also learned through experience - don't drive too far to meet someone for the first time. No matter how handsome they are, don't drive too far in case there's no chemistry or, worse, they don't show up.
But for Ken, young Kevin agreed to make a dinner. I made manicotti and homemade peach ice cream.
Ken was on time.
His eyes were blue like he said. And he was easy to talk to. But how awkward. Why am I having someone I have never met to my house for dinner? Why didn’t we just go out, I wondered.
Ken was dressed in these tiny little shorts. But I had no attraction to Ken at all. It was more them chemistry. I just thought his eyes looked so tired and blood shot like he was a drinker. And I guess if I was sexually interested, I would like the tiny shorts he was wearing, but when he said on the edge of the couch, it all popped out - cock and balls.
It’s all just sitting there on my couch. You know there’s no love match when your mind wonders if he’s leaving track marks on your couch. I mean, if he were hot, I am sure I’d love to know Ken’s cock and balls (and maybe ass) touched my couch. But when you don't feel a connection, this is disgusting.
We had a nice dinner and nice conversation and I walked Ken to his car. I never called him again. He never called me. Obviously, no love connection.
But I did learn some valuable lessons. I guess situations like this are what helped shaped Young Kevin into the Kevin I am today.
#ABearsTale #GayBear #InternetDating #GayFirstDate #LoveConnection