When in Rome, Don't Do Romans Because They're Out for Blood
August 3, 2018
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I recently had dinner with my dear friends Carol, Michael and Joel and we were talking about trips to Europe. When I told them about my three bad sexual experiences with Roman men, I thought it sounded like a definite #TBT blog.

Before you think I did three men in a week, my first experience with a Roman man was in LA years earlier then my Italian trip. I had met a really cute Roman named Carlo. We had a great date that lead to the bedroom. Carlo said he really liked sucking nipples so of course, I obliged. OMG! Carlo really, really, REALLY sucked - I think he was trying to get milk! Be even started to nibble. That hurts! I tried so hard to pull his head off my tit but it was like trying to remove a 6' leech. Carlo was serious. When I finally removed the Roman leech, my nipples was bleeding and already bruised. Carlo and I never had a second date and it took weeks to heal. But yet I don't want to blame Rome.

Flash ahead a few years, and I am in Rome. Finally. I've liked been to Italy maybe 10-20 times (not counting) but slowing working my way down the country and now I am in Roma!

I had a date my first night with this really tall man - Federico. I went to his place and it was down many, many stairs to the basement apartment. It was cute but very small and he couldn't even stand up straight - which is why he likely wanted to go to bed right away.

We're kissing and massaging and things are looking good - then he went for the nipple. Same think - he vampired blood out of my chest. I kept telling him to stop but he said he knows I love it. When I finally broke free, I went to the bathroom only to see a swollen, sore chest. I am so done with this. Is there a sex club in Rome that promotes gay Vampire tit sucking?

Not to ruin my trip, I moved on. Besides, I had an exciting day a few days late with Renzo.

I had talked to Renzo for years and almost came to see him several times. When I finally arranged this trip, Renzo was so kind to offer me to stay in his place. I love the idea of staying with locals as you get more of their culture that way and less of the touristic view. But I didn’t want to impose too much and besides, Rome is filled with men, why spend all of my time with one. So I only agreed to stay a few days.

Renzo first seemed like the perfect gentleman. He even offered to pick me up from my downtown hotel. When it was time to meet, I waited out front for a car to pull up. He picked me up on foot. He said he doesn’t have a car. I told him I could have taken a taxi across town and he said it was his pleasure to get me. So he took my bag on rollers and I carried the one not.

On the long, long, long journey to his apartment, Renzo showed me sights of Rome. Or I should say mostly churches. And he wanted me to go inside each and every one, climbing the stairs with my luggage to see these churches. “Hey Renzo, this is getting heavy, why don’t we drop it off at your place and then go look around?” Good idea so we did.

Perhaps I forget or wasn’t told, but Renzo had a partner. An American who has been there over 20 years. He greeted me at the door. Maybe Renzo and I are just going to be friends? That’s actually fine as Renzo really wasn’t my type except being Italian and having a giant cock (his online pictures were very clever in which some of them had the cock posing with vegetables like it was a giant carrot. Other shots looked very professional and no zoom lens needed.)

Once I got over the shock of the partner, I was aw-struck by the number of collectibles they had in their house. Or should I just call them pack-rats. Every room INCLUDING THE BATHROOM had magazines, record albums, DVDs, videos and/or book covering each wall from floor to ceiling. The living room didn’t even have a sofa - it had two desks with computers, downloading and copying movies and music. And it too was surrounded by junk.

Renzo ended the tour by showing me the guest room. I asked if it was through the storage closet. No, that was the guest room. There were so many musty, dusty books and records in that room that even the windows were blocked. There was a tiny single bed in the middle, surrounded by walls of books - kind of like a prison cell for mensa graduates.

Guess we might be more than friends as right before we left the guest room, Renzo said that we can pull the mattress off the bed and fuck on the floor if we like, but he must sleep with his partner. Oh no.

Renzo, his partner and I went on a tour of Rome. They actually are both very nice fellows and were a wealth of information and details about different sights, that you would think they were tour guides. We went from Borghese Gallery to Mussolini's mansion. It was all fascinating. I wanted to stay out as long as possible becuase I was afraid to have to say no to sex.

But alas, things closed.

So we went back to their house and, after a quick bite, we were alone.

Renzo asked if I’d like to have sex. I felt his hospitality was so nice I really needed to say yes. I am sure some women have done this to nice guys after they spent the evening treating them to a good time.

But I found an out. A true, legitimate, even-Renzo-would-understand out. Renzo got me out of the mood. Before sex, he said, “Please go into the bathroom. You will find a douche there. I sterilized it earlier and it should be clean. Please first to try to have a shit and then when you’re done, clean out your ass completely and make sure to wash the douche when you’re done.” Wow, how sexy.

“Renzo,” I said, “if I say I am ready for sex that means my ass is ready. It’s so clean you could eat it, why don’t you try?”

He replied, “I am sure you think so but one time a guy shit on my cock."

Okay, I’m done. “Renzo, I really am completely and totally out of the mood. So I won’t be shitting on your cock.” So I suggested we just cuddle.

So we did get on the mattress on the floor and held each other. I felt Renzo’s giant cock circling my ass probably wishing he wasn’t such an ass because no we’re in a no fucking zone. Renzo whispered, “I can't resist...promise me you’re clean.” Oh God, get it over with all ready. So with condom intact, Renzo went in exploring. It was fine.

He actually enjoyed it. Thought he would. But then, the Roman beast came from within. Renzo started to howl and scream out and then, with me on my stomach, he dropped his head into the back of neck and took a bite. Oh my God, I’ve been bitten by Nosferatu and my days as a human are behind me. Then Renzo laughed for a moment, then cried and then suddenly, was asleep. But the beast was still inside me.

“Hey Renzo, remember you’re not suppose to sleep here. Would you mind pulling your cock out, dismounting and go to bed.” He smiled, looked drunk, got up, kissed me sweetly and left. Damn, I was bleeding.

Then I lay there the whole night staring at the stacks of books. Does Rome have earthquakes? Will they all fall down on me by morning? How many days did I agree to stay here. I just can’t. I must leave.

When I woke up, I decided I must go. I needed to be nice and tell them I just can’t stay.

So I left my room and they were both up. Renzo yelled from the kitchen that he was making breakfast. And there is was sausage. Yes, in the skillet. But also not. It seems Renzo and his partner are nudists. So his chubby partner was at the desk reading the paper naked. Renzo was in the kitchen, cooking, naked! I'd be so afraid of sausage grease splashing on my cock.  

“I thought we would go check out Mussalino’s mansion today,” Renzo said.

“That sounds great,” I said. “And I would love to spend the entire day with the two of you. But tonight. I think I better go back to the hotel. I love all your collectibles but I kind of felt claustrophobic last night and don’t think I can sleep here again. I am sure you understand. No let’s eat that breakfast and seize the day!"

Renzo replied that others have said the same thing. Well, duh! (I thought)

Renzo’s partner stayed home and we really did go out for the day and have a nice time. He opened up a bit about his open relationship. He said Jim didn’t like sex anymore. I thought he must have drained the blood out of him after all of these years. But I refrained and made a comment more delicately. I asked why doesn’t Jim like sex? He said he didn’t know they never discuss. I know why Jim doesn’t like sex. So I told Renzo, “He must like something about sex as you used to have it. Perhaps you can find out what things he likes in sex and perform just and only those things. Maybe after so long, he has gotten tired of doing the same things and just can’t tell you."  I added, “And Renzo, that’s some big cock - picture that up your douched ass for over 20 years.” Renzo thought that was worth exploring. So maybe I left him with some good advice. The important thing is I left.

Sometimes when English is a second language, some of the things Renzo said to me might have seemed crude but at the end of the day, sans the blood sucking, he was a nice guy and I sometimes wonder if he and his partner ever communicated their feelings. But that's their story - and this is mine.

#TBT #ABearsTale #AGayLoveStory #RomansSuck #BigCockStory

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